Saturday, February 25, 2017

My Sexy Saturday #178

Welcome to my first My Sexy Saturday! :)

Another writer on WeWriWa (Daryl Devore), suggested I check this out, so here we go. Hopefully I am following the rules right. I was going to do just 7 sentences, but I felt in order to make this excerpt sexy, I needed to share more, so 7 paragraphs it is for this time. I'm not going to give any background, other than this is the very beginning of the story. Its a WIP and has been a WIP for years. And its erotic fiction. I don't think it needs much more than that...


I watched her enter the club, alone.

Her hair was red and black, pulled up into a purposefully messy ponytail. Her black sleeveless mini-dress adorned with metal hardware accented her pale tattooed skin that was exposed. Her legs covered with sexy big holed fishnet stockings. Her thick black eye makeup and lipstick, made her skin seem even more pale, but in a way that was beautiful, or at least it was to me because it was so much like my own. All of her facial piercings were the perfect size, where they didn't seem to take over her appearance.

Her beauty lit up the club, was she vampire or human? Security at the door was arguing with her, from her movements and body language, she was familiar with Joe. He made her give over her right hand to stamp it before he let her proceed. I caught a glimpse of her teeth as she thanked him. Her teeth and pale skin said vampire, but the stamp on her hand said "taken human", yet she was definitely alone. Joe had done that to hopefully protect her for whatever reason she felt compelled to enter the club alone.

She walked passed without seeing me in the shadows. I took in her scent as she passed - human, definitely human. Her heart beating loudly in my ears, and her veins becoming the blood flowing through her.

I watched as she walked around. She talked to the bartender, Lillian, and then to Sade, who was running the backrooms. They both seemed to be familiar with her, but not giving her the answer she wanted to hear, given the disappointment on her face. She went over to one of sofa's, looking around before sitting down. She was here to look for someone, hence the "TH" stamp. How stupid of her to walk into this club alone, although her bravery was apparent. The sound of her heartbeat was normal, she wasn't scared to be surrounded by vampires without an escort. She was so dead. But maybe that was exactly what she was looking for. 

I overheard a group of frat-like vampires (yes, unfortunately they exist), who noticed she was alone, too. They talked about what they were going to do to her. It wasn't pretty and reminded me of lions fighting over a fresh kill, that was what her body was going to look like after, pieces of her scattered. She wouldn't perish from blood loss, she'd die from being torn apart.


She looked up in my direction, but still couldn't see me. Her eyes were stunning, although they seemed to be filled with sadness. She was so beautiful. I had to have her. The vision of her screaming beneath me before I drained her to death was overwhelming.

Thanks for reading! And please check out other My Sexy Saturday writers below. 


Enjoy your Saturday!
~Siren X

6 comments:

  1. Wow, not the place to be if you're merely human. Is she only human? Just prey to the vampire who wants to take her and drain her? Or...

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  2. Welcome to MSS. Intriguing, beautiful snippet

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  3. I do believe we are allowed maximum 10 sentences. Meanwhile, since this group can add a bit of advice to an author, I suggest you drop most of the She words to give a wicked flow to your story. Best to you.

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    1. Hi Charmaine :)
      This post was for the My Sexy Saturday Blog Hop which allows up to 7 paragraphs. The WeWriWa / Snippet Sunday can be found here:
      https://sirenxstar.blogspot.com/2017/02/wewriwa-o22617.html

      And thanks so much for the advice, always looking to improve my writing! This is the very beginning of the story, so the vampire doesn't know her name yet - would I still take out the 'she' then? Maybe you could give me an example to follow. Again, I appreciate this so much :)

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