Welcome to Vampire Friday, my favorite day of the week!
So for this week, I re-wrote this cute scene between Jake and Karlea, using Linda's idea from the last time I posted. Thanks Linda!!!! I also have to seriously thank her for helping to pull me out of a creative block that I was having last week. Thank you!
I feel so fortunate to have these online connections with people and writers, that yeah I don't know you in real physical life, but its such a community and support online. Not everyone has this or recognizes it. I appreciate all of you!
Jake forced the dirty thoughts from his mind.
"Jake, right?" She said, smiling
"Yes." He replied, he thought it was so sexy the way she had said his name. He began unbuttoning his shirt, reveling the plain black t-shirt underneath.
"Here." Jake said, handing her his shirt.
Karlea laughed, "I can't take that from you, but thanks."
"I insist. It will give me a reason to see you again."
Karlea smiled again, "You can find me here like always. if I'm not working, I'm dancing."
"Yeah, well, I'd rather see you outside of this place. Something tells me that even when you're not working, this is still your place of employment."
"Yeah." She agreed as she crumpled up a napkin and aimed it for the trash can, landing it in. She took the shirt from her other hand and put it on, "Thank you."
Jake watched as she buttoned it almost all the way up.
"I'm going to get this so dirty." She said, half seductively and half truthfully.
Jake laughed and then said, "I suppose my response to that should be, it will give me a reason to take it off of you."
She laughed, "Coming from anyone else, that would be sleazy, and i would have kicked their ass by now. But not from you."
"Well, thats good I guess." Jake paused, "Don't worry about getting it dirty, its fine. It can be cleaned."
They stared at each other until Karlea broke the silence.
"Did you want another drink?"
Jake wished she was offering herself for the drinking. He imagined taking her hand and biting her wrist, Karlea getting turned on by it.
He snapped himself out of his daydream, "Yeah...please."
"Sweet or dry?"
"Sweet, definitely sweet."
Jake watched as she moved around the bar, swiftly mixing and concocting. When she was done, she presented the drink in front of him.
"Thank you." He said. He tried a sip, it was really sweet with different fruit flavors, but also really strong with alcohol, which was good because it would help calm his cravings. "That is really good."
"Thanks."
Karlea looked around and noticed the wave of people headed towards the bar.
"I suppose I have to get back to work. Thanks for the shirt."
"You're welcome," Jake smiled. "How much do I owe you--"
"Don't worry about it." Karlea smiled before turning her attention to a clubgoer dressed in a sexy nun outfit with a gas mask resting around the top of her head.
Thanks for reading! I will make it around to reading and commenting this weekend.
Check out these other awesome vampire authors: Linda Hamonou and Angelica Dawson
I will admit that at this moment I do not feel this story is flowing. I started writing this in 2010 or 2011, then stopped in 2012 to write BloodLust: Armani, which is a sequel to this. Armani is flowing way better, which is way more erotic than this. This story is more romance - Jake is a good guy, err...vampire where Armani is more bad ass. Along this story, her ex human boyfriend, gets her in shit with one of the first original vampires, who happens to be Vaughn's maker, but Jake and Vaughn end up trying to protect her. Vaughn's character is based on the character Josef from the show Moonlight, where he's a bad ass but underneath it all he is really sweet and wants to help and good. I think I need to re-think and outline this story, I just don't know which way it should go.
I probably shouldn't be trying to write two vampire stories at once, but Armani is being shared for WeWriWa and has a good audience. I don't want to double up and share it here too. Because some of you have already read it.
Thanks for listening to me rant! Have a great week! And its 2015, do something fabulous!!
Hearts & Stars,
Siren XVX
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Hmm, Karlea... as in Armani's lover?
ReplyDeleteI love this scene actually. It's sweet, it has tension and passion and a sense of balancing on a tight-rope, and... it flowed nicely. It also, if I read things right could set another fun subplot
Yes Karlea before she met Armani :)
DeleteThings got a bit crazier in this week's excerpt.
Thanks for reading!
Wow so many thanks, I'm blushing.
ReplyDeleteI think it's going ok. You have a nice interaction between the characters and the dialogue is believable.
I know the feeling of having several opened drafts. It's hard to deal with. Good luck with that.
As of this week I have 4 stories going. Ooops.
DeleteAt least with this one, I don't know, I want it to be more erotic than romance-y like it is, but I don't want it to be as hot and heavy as Karlea & Armani.
Thank you for always reading :)